The screams were ear-splitting, and they rang out through
the vast hotel lobby.
“I want to go back to kids’ club!” shrieked Mme Three, as we
attempted to check out of the hotel. Happily, the general manager was within
earshot (it wasn’t hard).  At least
someone was smiling in the room.
We were test-driving the brand new kids’ club in the
Sheraton Kuta, in southern Bali. Traditionally the bastion of Bintang t-shirts
and bad cornrow braids, the hotel has carved out a chic niche within the most
maligned of Australians’ tourist destinations.
I’m not a kids’ club pro: my experience is limited to Fijian
nannies for very young babies (excellent, especially for new mothers who
haven’t slept in five months) and private nannies in the countries we’ve
travelled together, including Vietnam (where, in Hanoi, I came back to the room
to find the entire housekeeping division dancing to the cartoon channel along
with an ecstatic baby) and Sri Lanka (my older driver and de facto nanny would
have his afternoon nap along with Yasmine while I interviewed hoteliers and
chefs).
The Sheraton’s kids club appears to have the lot, from a super-shallow
swimming pool and sandy beach and little playground at the front, separated by
the interior of the Play centre, with its computer terminals loaded with games,
books, babies’ wooden toys, farmhouse animal sets and the pinkest palace to
house all the Barbies. Upstairs, the playstation den is also a crash pad for
exhausted clubbers.
Mme Three played with happy little Indonesian and Chinese
children, united by a love of a pink world, pausing reluctantly only to eat
with her guilt-ridden mama (now sporting extremely beautiful orange nails). The
kids’ club is free to all guests (and anyone spending more than A$35 in the
hotel spa – clever marketing, eh?)
I always said I’d never do the big fun parks and razzed-up
amusement arcades, but I’m more than happy to become part of this club. Quite
frankly, both Mme Three and I were both upset to be leaving the hotel: I guess
we’ve just got to learn to say goodbye. 
Yep, I was a guest of Sheraton Kuta Bali. (62) (361) 846 5555, sheraton.com/balikuta.