I’m a journalist, travel writer, editor and copywriter based in Melbourne, Australia. I write pacy travel features, edit edifying websites and fashion flamboyant copy. My articles and photographs have appeared in publications worldwide, from inflight to interior design: I’ve visited every continent, and have lived in three. Want to work together? Drop me a line… 



Belly dancing on the Nile: the ultimate cliche?

Tonight, I teamed up with John and Mohommad again to discover new ahwas (cafes) and brought along Juan, a Spaniard who’s also staying at this pension. I love the carte blanche that being with Mohommad brings. The cafes are down back alleys, through the slimmest streets and in the courtyards of apartment blocks. Most have a tv, though this one, my new favourite for its cardomon-scented coffee, has elegant timber bistro chairs with the cafe owner’s name, Abdul Karim Osman, carved on the back rest and Cleopatra on the seat. So I’m parking my backside on her face. Nice.

We walked down to Doqqi to talk to a man about apartments, but it’s still holidays, so tomorrow (Sunday) everything kicks back into life after almost a week’s break. I feel Cairo’s heading for one mother of a hangover tomorrow.

Cool things: the metro has women-only carriages until 9pm each night, though foreign men are tolerated (they don’t appear to understand the red sign with the woman’s picture on it, or perhaps they know that it will be less crowded than the carriages for the great unwashed.

We walked along the Nile this evening, promenading as Egyptians do. There were little boats that do a quick 20 minute spin up the Nile for less than a dollar – definitely a local scene as the foriegners were all going into the big ships for those corny cruise meals (of which, I might add, I did in Dubai). The outboard motor stinks, the PA plays tinny Arab pop, but a couple of kids got all excited and one little girl jumped up and gave us a surprisingly good belly dance, then a boy about the same age did a traditional men’s dance that’s normally done with swords. We all clapped along while the kids danced. It was a quite wholesome, totally charming cruise.

On another note, this pension is interesting – it is such good value and a really good vibe that a lot of people prefer to stay here instead of the faceless five-stars (well, yes). But there are two girls here who butter wouldn’t melt in their mouths (you can play guess the nationality). But every time the ice queens enter the room, like the white witch of Narnia, they freeze all conversation. So imagine my delighted surprise to find at the front desk yesterday afternoon the two biggest, roughest, nastiest looking Saudi blokes (ok, we’re conjecturing here), asking for them by room number (no names, didn’t know…) Dirty girls!
I tried to get you a nice pic of me up on the very British lions on Qasr el-Nil bridge, but Mohommad isn’t the best photographer. I have suggested a trade of Arabic for photography lessons. Here’s his effort… (God, that means I’m going to have to climb up there AGAIN while the cops aren’t watching!)

Tomorrow, I am going to a performance by the Cairo Opera Ballet at the Opera House – can’t wait!

One-legged bar hop

Continuing the saga of delving deep into the seamy side of Downtown Cairo, last night I went for a beer with my new friends John, a Londoner, and his mate Mohammad. They’ve kindly let me tag along with them as John’s apartment hunting as well. I have to say – there were some highs, there were some very, very low lows. Some places you’d be frightened to take your shoes off in, and one that had me worried the floor was going to drop out of the ancient lift.

So after cruising about six apartments, we lashed out and went to a bar. Cap D’Or is apparently (according to my guide book) used to foreigners, and you know I’m fairly intrepid in this regard. But there is no way I’d have set foot in here alone. It was like when the stranger throws open the saloon doors and the music stops and everyone shuts up.

I’ve posted up a pic of the bar snacks – sliced tomatoes with a herb salt in an old soft drink bottle with holes in the lid, foul (cooked butter beans, taste fantastic, look um, foul hahaha), and termis, more unidentified pulses. All exceptionally healthy stuff. We got the bar boy to grab some cheese from the shop across the road as well, and I fed snippets to the tiny kitten beneath my chair.

The beer we drink round here is Stella, (“Authentic Egyptian Lager Beer since 1897”) at 4.5%. Cap D’or is also one of the cheapest bars around, selling it for LE7, about A$1.50. The bar snacks are free.

Just as we left, I said to John, I wish I had the guts to take a pic, but I’m too embarassed. He said, don’t be soft. So I handed him the camera. He took a bad pic. I took the camera back, asked the barman if he minded? He preened and ran a smoothing hand over his bald head. I took the pic. The entire bar watched, then someone waved a hand. I asked the bar, ‘Mumkin?” (Do you mind?) The bar said, “La!” (No!) All assumed the pose. I took a snap. “Gameel! Shukran.” (Beautiful! Thank you). The bar all waved goodbye.

We skipped out to try another bar opposite the Swiss Embassy, more local, less used to chicks, as was obvious after I went to the loo and, as I was coming out, surprised a bloke just about to use the pissoir outside the loo. He was slightly disgusted, I think, as he had to zip himself back up and step out of the room back into the to let me pass. Everything I wore last night now stinks, absolutely stinks, of cigarettes.

Mohammad also pushed open the door on a bar full of prostitutes (VERY BIG and SCARY prostitutes) where the beer is three times the price and the girls expect seriously big tips. It was not a place for me to be drinking in.

PS Can I just mention that this is the seedy side of town? Will hit the glam side as well to prove Cairo’s not all so rugged.

PPS Can I also ask whether am I the last woman alive to know that female circumcision was de riguer in Egypt, for ALL Egyptian women, until just five years ago??? The things you learn in bars…

Omar Sharif causes riots Downtown

When I finally woke up late this morning, after slinking in at 2am, I spent the day on the balcony writing a story about a $1200/night spa in Thailand. It’s a far cry from this $10 pension in Egypt. The difference is hard to comprehend. Most of Egypt slept late, I think. The streets were quiet, but as I woke, I heard something I hadn’t heard since I’d been here – the radio. During Ramadam, it’s forbidden to play music, unless it’s religious/Arabic traditional music (as well as eat, smoke and drink in public during daylight). Now, Arab pop is well and truly back on the soundscape, blurring in with the car horns, sirens and the roar emerging from a city of 20 million people.

I also noticed when I wandered out for a late lunch, a pub – all dingy with blue neon lighting inside (interesting design concept), and also an off-licence. I must post it up on an expat website I was on today, which had a long involved discussion on offies in Cairo. Apparently foreigners can buy up to three bottles of imported spirits at the duty free shops within three days of arrival, and after that, you can by the local brands, though one contributor said the local stuff has formaldehyde in it, and advised all readers to avoid it.

But tonight, most shops were shut, even up toward Khan al-Khalili, where normally you’re shoving to walk up what passes as a footpath. Instead, the youth of Cairo, who were until 5am selling faux designer shirts on the streets, tarted themselves up and headed Downtown, near my pension, to eat ice creams and visit one of the three cinemas on the first night of their three-day holiday (apparently there’s a very good, new Omar Sharif movie out).

It sounds innocuous – watchig movies and eating ice cream – but there was a weird pack mentality, the first time I’ve felt it) but I got adopted (again!) this time by a young news journalist, Sharif, who’s just dying to make it in the States.

He just stuck his arm out and pushed everyone back so I could get through the crowd. Sort of like a modern-day feminist Moses scenario. It was a bit embarrassing, but it was good to get out of the crowd.

I had read that in previous years, there were some sort of riots down here, so there were plenty of white-clad police about (the irony of a city that turns your snot black is that their coppers are decked out in bright white, with long black boots – it’s terribly butch).

I also learned tonight that the slangy greeting I was taught last time I was here (‘saida’ sp?) is actually a Christian expression, so saying it to a Muslim is just weird. Hmmm, that’s why they were giggling. In fact, they giggle a lot when I speak Arabic.

Slightly sheepish

Cairenes, it has to be said, can talk the leg off a donkey. It is actually quite hard to be alone, when you are on your own. Nobody believes you want to sit solo, so the invites to join their table or to walk and talk are constantly forthcoming, which is very welcoming, but at times kind of frustrating.
Last night, up Khan Al-Khalili, the uber-hectic traditional market, I was adopted by Mimo (a funked-up shortening of Mohommad), who steered me through the markets, always talking, in his excellent English. In return, I’m afraid I grilled him. I warned him, but I grilled him. About where to eat, shop, find an apartment and what those bold boys had just said as we passed.
I could have used his translating skills today when I popped out for a late lunch, and the cafe owner charged me what I know to be double the going rate. I queried it, he said, It is laaaamb. It is very expensive. For that price, I must have eaten the arse of the ram with the golden fleece.

The night before…Eid

Last night, Cairo went off. Off, I tell you, going into overdrive in the days before Eid, the three-day holiday. It is pumping down there in the streets. Thousands of people in the squares, drinking tea, eating sweet biscuits and honey cakes, smoking sheesha. They will go until dawn, damn them and their car horns. And they’re already warming up for tonight, where apparently the city will ring to the sound of fire crackers. I can hear them now, and the sun is only just setting…

I stayed out till about 1am, drinking tea occasionally on my own and occasionally with lots of strange people, mostly men (“my wife she stays home and watches the television and the children”), and eating in an insane amount of sugar. It really is the drug of choice in Egypt. Especially now, as they can blame the end of Ramadam for their excesses – as they devour kunaafa and a honey and coconut biscuit that’s awfully like a macaroon. Unfortunately, you can’t just buy one. And that’s not my inability to control myself, but they sell everything only the quarter kilo, minimum.

Eid is a time of not only mainlining sugar, but also giving gifts, so the streets were packed with young guys selling carts of clothes on the footpath. There might be seven or eight in a group, roaring out their wares. Faux Diesel, CK, lots of weird pseudo-surf brands. And the women’s clothing shops were packed while the pastry and cake shops had crowds spilling onto the streets, It was like the night before Christmas in a one dollar shop.

Interestingly, I had a couple of exchanges (non-verbal, of course) with women last night. One was with a couple of little kids in a real, grungy part of Cairo, up near one of the main stations. They were practicing their English with me (they knew almost as much as my Arabic) and there was a woman, quite young, with her baby, who was watching and gave me a big smile, and then another woman, who was fully veiled, with just her eyes visible – and even then, there’s a piece of fabric between her eyes, almost like a hawk’s mask – and we were being squished by the crowd, and she’d smiled at me. I could see her eyes crinkle upwards, it was a strange, but nice moment.

I also had a more substantial encounter this afternoon with a very glamorous acquaintance from my last visit in Cairo. A Coptic Christian, she doesn’t fast, doesn’t wear a veil (instead, terribly chic trouser suits and lots of Bulgari jewellery) and, interestingly enough, doesn’t identify herself as an Arab. We had high tea in one of Egypt’s best hotels (from pension to five-star…it’s all about adaptability, you see) and talked about an article in one of the English language newspapers about women who want to go to taraweeh, the evening prayers held during Ramadam. Apparently, some women want to go but their husbands want them to stay home (watching tv, watching the kids). But the women are saying that it is better to go to the mosque, because you’re in a sisterhood, and young women have a chance of marrying better if they hang out at mosques. I had never thought of it that way.

If I peer over my little balcony, I can see into a small mosque. With an aerial view, it looks like a coal bunker, a long, curved arch. There is always a green carpet out the front, as it gets packed, here in Downtown, which is an enclave of poorer Cairo. My glamorous friend is very keen to take me over the other side of town, past the expat enclave of Zemalak to Mohandiseen and Agouza, to show me that parts of Cairo are as sophisticated as any other city in the world. And what’s with the camels, she asks me. Camels are for the desert. They weren’t used to build the Pyramids. So why are they synonymous with Cairo? That’s a very good question…

Amazing co-incidences 101

The taxi driver to the airport in Abu Dhabi was Egyptian, and after going misty-eyed about his homeland, where I was bound, he told me to watch out for the traffic. He’s right, it’s manic. “But people help you cross the street,” I protested.
“Only for money,” he responded. I thought about it. In fact, it had happened only once that I was asked for money in exchange for not being splattered across the road. It was by Mohammad, a dapper gent in his 50s with greying ringlets. He escorted me across the road, pointed me in the right direction to the mosque I was trying to find, and pulled some photographs out of his pocket of when he was young and described by the newspapers as ‘the Egyptian Schwarzenegger’. There he was, buff to the eyeballs, snapped with a volley of incredibly beautiful models with their big hair and liquid eyeliner, everyone in indecently small bikinis or (in Mohammad’s case) mankinis. So we chatted, but as we parted, he asked for a few pounds to get a cool drink. I baulked, as I thought this was a genuine exchange, not a cash scam, but I relented and gave him some money. So, imagine my surprise when, last night as I was trawling the streets for a home, in a city of 20 million people, I ran into Mohammad. He remembered me, thanked me for the drink, and bought me a glass of mint tea, in return. It’s a nice ending.Amazing co-incidences 102.
I know three other people in Cairo. One I rang today on my NEW EGYPTIAN MOBILE! The second, who I met at the airport yesterday and lent me his phone to call my hotel, is an expat who lectures in Islamic art. I ran into him on the same street in Doqqi this morning. I like this street. I have also moved from the Concorde (am missing the blue carpet already) to the Pension Roma, and have a small but perfect room, with polished floor boards and a little balcony that I have opened the doors onto, and set up my desk and fan. It is a fifth of the price of the hotel, cleaner and has free internet. Perhaps it was all just meant to be…

Welcome to Cairo

Welcome to Cairo. I think I’ve heard that phrase more than 10 times in the past four hours. You could never accuse Cairenes of being inhospitable.
True to previous form, I have managed to find a hotel room where the “L” from the neon hotel sign is right outside my window. The good news is that it doesn’t look like the sign’s worked for years. I’m in the district called Doqqi –as well as the L, you can see the Nile from my window, and if you drive 10km down my street, you’ll run into the Pyramids. Just across the Nile and across another bridge is thumping Downtown, home of the Egyptian Museum and a thousand souvenir shops selling Nefertiti’s head on fraying papyrus. That’s not to say I haven’t met my own purveyor of such exquisite goods. In less than two hours, I’ve acquired Hassan, a jovial, rotund, moustached shop owner who has happily offered to become my Egyptian fixer. As well as selling scarab beetles carved from jade and said papyrus, he also runs private tours out to the deserts and oases, can unlock my phone to take a local SIM, has shown me where the cheap internet café is and is making calls to help find me an apartment.
My hotel, the Concorde, isn’t the Abu Dhabi Shangri-La, but then, there aren’t many places that are the Abu Dhabi Shangri-La. But the blue curtains and the carpet match, the textured cream wallpaper isn’t peeling too obviously and while there are a lot of mirrors, I’m taking this in a positive light – honest scrutiny is occasionally motivating.

Ramadam is in full swing, so while it’s poor form to be eating on the street while Muslims fast, they really know how to kick on till late, eating, drinking and, if they’re good, praying till the wee hours. There is a down side: my Abu Dhabi driver yesterday was from Bangladesh, and hadn’t eaten since sunrise (about 6am) and had two hours’ sleep, so after our long day’s drive to Al Ain so I could sate my thirst for camel photography, he was nodding frighteningly at the wheel till we pulled over at a service station so he could wash his face (I suspect he even drank some water in the loos as well).

Not quite sure what I’m doing here, but I reckon a nap and an internet fix and it should become apparent…

the occidental tourist’s kick-off

Ok, so maybe this is a bit premmy – I’m not even in Egypt yet. But I got hounded so much about my shabby correspondence record so much, I thought I would just run away and not talk to anyone for a few months. Then Miss Rebecca, beauty editor-cum-psychic (she SO knows next season’s colours already), shrieked down the phone that I should blog the next couple of months.

So here goes… ok, let’s see how this one works…

Global Salsa

Well, you’ve scrolled this far. What do you think? Drop me a line, I’d love to hear from you.

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